The Brody Bunch Goes to the Dentist


End of Summer, Mad Rush to Get Things Done, Including Four Teeth Cleanings

It’s the end of summer, and there is a mad rush to get every single thing done prior to the first day of school.  Go through last year’s school supplies.  Replenish school supplies. Schedule as many doctor appointments as possible, insurance approval pending. Haircuts.  Purge closets. Start new and unnecessary household projects. Get new shoes that fit.  Find pants that aren’t high waters. Update all family calendars. Pay all extracurricular school fees. Arrange carpools. Rearrange family photos. Try to use your pool membership before Labor Day.  Create healthy menus. It’s a real shit-show.

Making a Dentist Appointment, for Four Please

Next to quality of healthcare, I am all about scheduling Brody Bunch appointments in one swoop, and most offices frown upon that – they don’t want to give one family four slots at once.  I don’t want to take off work multiple times or have the kids miss school because of scheduling.  Low and behold, like it was the ACTUAL Tooth Fairy, the dentist’s office called, “Mrs. Brody, if you can come tomorrow, two of the Brody Bunch kids can come in the morning, and we will see one at 5:45PM and then figure out the 4th.  … oh, we can see three in the morning and keep everyone on the same schedule, can you come?”  My first world problems escalated. I felt like I won the scheduling lottery. So, I called my Dad, known as Bop.  The kids call him Bop for BeBop Jazz. He was thrilled to help, and I can’t stand asking for any help.  I texted him the dentist’s address.  I sent him a Google calendar invitation.  I thanked him a gazillion times.  I went over the details and we were set…

I Can’t Believe that I Asked for HELP!  And, it was a Comedy of (confused) Errors

… we were set until my Dad got the pick up information mixed up.  He was supposed to pick up the kids from Mark’s office, which is down the street from the dentist. Though neither Mark nor I could take off work, today.  Bop even lives near Mark’s office and the dentist.  But, my Dad went out of his way, to my house.  Bop called me and noted that our front door was unlocked.  He went in and was loudly announcing that he was there to take them to the dentist, but there were no answers.  Then Bop said to me, “so your front door was unlocked and your house looked ransacked.”  Unsure if to call the police or Mark, my Dad remembered that the pickup location was not at our house. Inconvenienced, but not annoyed, and probably listening to jazz music, Bop finally connected with Mark and the kids at the dentist’s office.  

Toga!  Toga!

I want to “thank” the Governor for the extra two weeks of summer break; this time gave me more luxury for scheduling appointments while the kids are home from school, camping programs are finished, and I work.  Wink, wink in my gratitude.  Or as the kids see it, two more weeks to live like we are a PG-13 version of “Animal House” … even the bed sheets are all pulled from the linen closet, so maybe there was a toga party.  

The Brody Bunch Made Our Mark in the Dentist’s Reception Area and at Home

Through the power of a great dental receptionist and a flexible grandparent, the Brody Bunch have pearly white teeth and I know that Bop took them out for lunch with dessert. I think the dental practice just likes the Brody Bunch.  When we were new to the practice, we had to fill out the same forms four times.  So, I gave each kid a clipboard and said to fill out the general information and I would update all of the necessary medical questions. They were compliant and I ended the process when read his questions aloud: Max,  “Gon-orr-hea?  YES!”  Blanche added: “Sex?  What kind of place is this?”  My kids are now limited to just filling out our home address.  And speaking of  our home address, bwahhhh, my house looks like it was ransacked, we just live there and are making memories.

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