Creating Memories Over Acquiring More Stuff
“Experiences over material items” that is the Brody Bunch parenting mantra. I am sick and tired of putting away things that no one really wants or enjoys. My generation, Generation X, could die from clearing out the things that our Baby Boomer parents thought we might like one day in addition to all of the things we bought when we had first jobs and the economy was great. So, to limit the clutter for our kids, we have set out to make memories rather than buying another trinket. We haven’t mastered this, but sometimes we get it right.
An Experience To Celebrate a Bat Mitzvah
In celebration of our daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, we gave her the choice of many experiences rather than buying an expensive gift. She is an aspiring actress and singer. Broadway’s Dear Evan Hansen was on the top of her list, it was the only thing on her list. With her Bat Mitzvah 7 months behind us, we finally fulfilled her wish. Tickets didn’t come easy. And, we were able to pad the show with additional opportunities for more memories. Maybe I was the one receiving the gift, because, just the two of us went on her getaway and I treasured every moment. I never knew what time it was. She was the perfect traveling partner. She was flexible when plans changed. She has my stamina. She had gratitude for each offering. She laughed at my jokes.
The Agenda, The Journey, The Magic
We went to New York for two full days. Our journey included the St. Patrick’s Day parade, long walks in Central Park and the West Village. We had lobster in the Chelsea Market. We did a photo shoot on the High Line. We sang, shimmied, and twisted at Ellen’s Stardust Diner on Broadway. We ate dinner in an outside heated bar vestibule. When Siri got us really lost, we drank coffee at a Greek diner. We bought new political buttons to wear on our hats for the upcoming March on Washington to fight gun violence in schools. Some of these buttons were purchased from the same store where we bought our “Vagina Badge of Honor” patches for last year’s Women’s March.
We shared many laughs, like at the parade, someone’s flag brushed me several times and I pulled on it to tell the flag waver that I couldn’t see. My daughter gasped and giggled, “Mom, you can’t yank someone’s flag.” When referencing St. Paddy’s day “pot of gold” I stated that because of the local aroma, that the pot of gold is “just pot”. We segued the joke into meaningful conversations about drugs and alcohol. No one likes these chats, but we have to have them. For good measure, I threw in questions about sex, too. Thanks Parade revelers!
Instead of dining at our favorite restaurant in Little Italy, we found a wonderful bar. We met the owner [female owned] and spoke with everyone near us. We were in a New York State of Mind. And, when my daughter and I were in the bathroom, she told me that we didn’t have time for me to make anymore best friends because we had to get to the theater. I like doing things until the last minute, to get in more memories, but I knew that she wanted to get to the show.
My other kids kept texting us, “Aren’t you excited! Just one hour and 19 minutes before you see Dear Evan Hansen!” and “I miss you! I hope you are having fun!” The kids not on this trip, were celebrating their sister’s excitement and were so happy for her. Their sibling love was appreciated by her and another gift to me. It was all magical.
Saw the show, met the lead actor, it was perfect
The show was finally here. It was beautiful and sad. She has been singing the hits for more than a year. I had my own moments of reflection sitting next to my daughter during this powerful show. Every parent and kid can learn a lot from this incredible production. A good hard cry was had by me. After the show, we slipped into Junior’s for cheesecake, and the post theater crowd prevented us from getting a table. We called home and said goodnight.
We could see that people were gathering around the theater. We went back. Two strangers were smiling and pushed my daughter ahead and said, “Taylor Trensch [Evan Hansen] is signing Playbills!” My daughter got up close, I smiled, congratulated him on his performance, and told him that we were here for her Bat Mitzvah celebration. Taylor/Evan Hansen said, “Oh, happy birthday! I hope your Torah portion went smoothly.” Wow, glad we couldn’t get the cheesecake! This was the icing on the cake!
The Journey Continued
After a hotel snafu whereas our paid room, with our checked in luggage, was given away, near midnight, we were put into a taxi and sent to an alternative hotel. I was mad. I didn’t want our perfect day to end with being annoyed. I made a choice to check myself and chose to remain happy. I gave our daughter a jewelry box with a surprise charm bracelet from Dear Evan Hansen. Her bright smile rivaled that of Times Square’s lights.
The next day, we had a quick breakfast at the hotel. I shared with my daughter lessons I learned from the show and how some topics reminded me of myself with my mom. In the background, I could hear an old Billy Joel song and the lyric “it’s always sadness or euphoria.” That song always reminds me of my mom. More tears streamed down my face. It was like I participated in a therapeutic getaway. We had more meaningful conversations. We were making lots of memories.
We walked through Koreatown. I was in accessory heaven. Just one more store! These trinkets are “different” from the material items we were trying to avoid by making memories – so we made memories while picking up a few more brooches and bracelets. We walked through the Flatiron District. Spent time at the Strand Bookstore. Ate in a hip coffee shop blasting my favorite songs from the 70’s. We went for a long and cold walk in Central Park. We saw ducks and signs of Spring. I find peace and happiness in Central Park. We intended to go to another diner where we could warm up, and got lost, again. So we walked for a bit and ended up in Ellen’s Stardust Diner. We had front and center seats whereas we were part of many of the song and dance routines as innocent bystanders. We strolled back to meet our bus home and took in traditional tourist scenery in Times Square.
14 miles of laughs, lessons and “For Forever” memories
My health tracking device noted that we walked 14 miles over two days. You can cover lots of laughs, serious conversations and historical discoveries in 14 miles. It is the City that never sleeps. My soul is beaming with happiness. Like the song from Dear Evan Hansen we made “For Forever” memories.